Discussion Materials by Bill Keenan

Author:Bill Keenan
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: N/A
Publisher: Post Hill Press
Published: 2020-01-30T16:00:00+00:00

John Bukowski: de-activating your Spotify privileges in 3

John Bukowski: 2

John Bukowski: 1.5

John Bukowski: 1

William Keenan: coming

“Shitty sandwich place or Mexican?” asks Jack as we exit the building on the Wall Street side to a blustery September day. We pause outside the building as a gust of breeze funnels down the street from west to east.

“Too windy on Water Street,” I say. “My hair’s on point today—can’t take any chances. How about the brutal buffet place on Exchange Place?”

“Line is always crazy long,” says Jack.

“But ramen is decent.”

“Fine.

“So what the hell did you do?” asks Jack. “You’re the talk of the forty-fourth floor. That analyst who looks like a drill sergeant—”

“Leighton,” I say.

“Yeah, he was talking to one of the VPs in your group who sits near me and singing your praises. Then I hear some other guy in your group asking about ‘the new MBA associate who ran the model.’”

The sun peeks through the towering skyscrapers in the Financial District and shines on my face. “I guess you could say I’m glowing,” I say. We enter the jammed buffet place, lower our heads, stick out our elbows, and make a straight line to the ramen-noodle station.

“I wish they could’ve seen you in training,” says Jack. “You didn’t know the difference between Word and Excel.”

“You guys have flies on your side of the floor?” I ask after ordering a chicken ramen bowl.

“Seen a bunch in the bullpen but nothing near me really.”

After receiving our bowls from the sweaty guy in an apron, Jack and I stand in the mass of people, which could serve as a business school case study on how to create a bottleneck.

“What’re you staffed on?” I ask as we finally emerge onto the Wall Street sidewalk.

“I spent four-and-half hours this morning scouring the Internet for pictures and bios of board members for three private companies.”

“You email BIS to see if they could find anything?”

“Obviously.”

“You ever get calls from American Express about overdue charges?” I ask.

“No, but this guy from Northwestern Mutual calls me twice a week at 4:05 p.m. ’cause he thinks I work until the market closes or something. It’s like my aunt who thinks I trade stocks for a living.”

The ding of my BlackBerry is followed by some vibrating. I remove it from my pocket. “Fuck me,” I say.

“Staffed?”

“Worse—gonna get a red flag if I don’t complete those compliance bullshits by 5:00 p.m. today.”

“The hell is a red flag?”

“No clue. Maybe three red flags and you get a stern talking to.”

They hit your inbox once a week on average and are largely ignored, until one day an email with subject line: “URGENT—ACTION REQUIRED” pops up, accompanied by threats of flags in an assortment of colors. Today’s task is completing the “Anti-Money Laundering” module. This is primarily an exercise in clicking your mouse20 as quickly as possible. In previous modules, the “next” or “” buttons were located in the bottom right of each slide. Since these modules were estimated to take thirty minutes to complete but were ultimately completed in two minutes, the format was changed.

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